YOU know sometimes i just get sick and tired of trying..like i get up in the mornin, and i put myself out there..only to get shot down again...and when im down, i get kicked again...i guess some days you just need a hug, but its more than that..i mean i know im suppose to know..but a gurl, LOVES not to have to think about stuff..and try to "understand" that she's appreciated..it feels so good when you do something for someone, or juss spend time together..until it's over, than its back to reality..like nothing ever really happend..i HATE that

so im waiting for my break..my turning point in my life right now..it's been at a steady pase for awhile..i don't really care what it is..something good, something bad..a new person in my life..just something to spice it up alittle ya..know, kinda tired of having to make my own fun..or i guess its the loneliness kicking in..only reason i like school, i get to see people..its all good..i can be a paitent person, when the time is right..and all that jazz

anyways..happy new years everyone..dun forget to make those resolutions!  lord knows i have waaAAaay toOooo many to count.. buh bye

all i have to say is i hope this isnt going to be a repeat of last year's christmas break..i don't think i could do that again..but it's heading that way in a hurry..

all i have to say is that i seem to be making my mom cry alot..failing a lot..dissapointing alot, and lord knows what else..im sorry if any of this has affected you, because trust me you didn't deserve it, but even if im broken..that doesn't mean i still won't be here for you..i could be in a coma, and yes i'd still be there to listen..i just hope yall had a blessed christmas..and if you've got anything to drag me out of this..lemmie know, dun care what it is

MERRY CHRISTMAS YALL!

omg, where to start huh...we had a friggin white christmas!! it was sooOOO pretty..and gosh, i love christmas..and so glad im home with ya'll, even though i miss hawaii like a BIOTCH.. i didn't get anything special from family (other than grandmas cookies)..but from my friends..it's like yall know me SOooo much more..i can't believe it..and i can't be thankful enough for you..i miss yall!!

omg..so like church service last night, was AWESOME..my friends all sang in the choir..but i can't sing church hyms for shit..so yeah..lol but it was candle lit..and we sang all these christmas carols..and the pastor gave his sermon on how we should find peace in our hearts..and not to hold anything against our hearts..and to accept him..and omg, i need to hear that every day to remind me not to be so damn sinful, and selfish..and than on the way home..i saw this car that had skidded off the road and went through the rail..and i thought omg, on christmas (b/c it was like 12am)..it was really sad..and than i had on christmas songs..and the one about "angels among us" came on..and the other one..about how "mommy's gonna meet jesus tonight"..i COULDN'T HELP IT! totally..lost it.. but anyways, yall have a friggin awesome christmas, and lots of love out to ya!

AlOh@!

yeah that's right..this lil hoochie..is back in houston..and so not loving this friggin cold weather!! what's up with that?? like..this time yesturday i was so on the beach, in my swim suit..and now im like friggin in a god damn blanket! take me back to H@wA!1...no, but i missed ya'll..SOO much, and it's good to get back home..especially for christmas..but ill tell ya'll about it later, and you can ask me anything you want..i was a good gurl though..lol

anyways, i miss hawaii already..and nothing is stopping me from goin there..especially after what my mom said! peace, love and hang loose my friends..enjoy the break..talk later *MUAH